I can finally let out a sigh of relief because we have a date! May 3rd, 2017 these twinkies will come into the world via c-section. Currently at 36 weeks, the c section is scheduled at 37, which is considered full term for twins! I have no idea how I did it with no real complications other than being anemic, which I’ve been all my life. I’m just going to say though I will not miss pregnancy life cause it still sucks. I don’t know why any one would do this more than once! Looking forward to not being kicked in random organs, not having swollen feet & legs, heartburn, and everything else that has come with pregnancy.
Now that I have a date I’m actually nervous, scared, relieved, anxious, and God knows how many other feelings I’m currently feeling about this whole thing. The reality and realization of all this is finally starting to hit me and it scares me. It scares me that I’m going to be a birth mother. I will have birthed 2 little girls that I placed into someone else’s care. These 2 little girls will be tied to me FOREVER. I grew 2 humans over the course of 37 weeks. My mind is blown at all of this. I’m worried about how I’m going to feel afterwards, after everything settles down, I’ve healed from the c-section, and it’s time to start my life over again but now I’m getting emails & photos & having bi yearly visits… I just never thought that my life would include little me’s walking around.
I definitely plan on keeping up with this blog as the process, well I guess my life as a birth mother goes on. These experiences are still one of a kind and I think expressing my feelings like a journal will help cope with this whole journey.
This past week has been a busy one! I’ve had 2 appointments already and will have several more leading up to my surgery. I’m just a bit tired of them but it’s almost over and it’ll help this week pass by quickly. I’ve also started prepping my hospital bag and getting things arranged for Luna. Since I’ll be in the hospital a few days and then at my mom’s while I recover a bit she’ll be at a boarders. This will be the longest we’ve ever been apart and it breaks my heart that she has no idea! Ugh life of a puppy mom…
Well I think I’m done ranting for the night, my next post will probably be the night before these twinkies arrive cause I know I won’t be sleeping much! So until next time!