A few months later…

I have been MIA with my blog over the last 4 months and I am terribly sorry! Getting back into the routine of working, taking care of Luna, and taking care of myself has kind of taken over my life!

Let’s get caught up with some pictures, shall we!

2 months!

These 4th of July outfits are too cute for words!

3 months!

4 months!

Harper’s already trying to get away!

And the most current 5 months!!

They don’t fit on their elephant blanket as much as they used to!

5 months and they’re already fighting, but let me tell you, Harper grabbing her sisters face is all me! They both have so much of me in them already its crazy. I still have a hard time grasping that I made these 2 beautiful chunky babies!

Oh! I got to see my babies and their parents!!!! A little after they turned 4 months we went for a visit!

An even more surreal feeling, holding my girls again since signing my rights away was definitely emotional. Seeing J & A take care of my girls and how much love that radiated from them was very comforting. I’m glad that I was able to find an amazing set of parents for my girls and that they’re willing to allow me and my mom in their lives, as much as I didn’t want anything to do with them during my pregnancy. It continues to enforce that I made the best decision for all of us, especially seeing how happy my girls are and how healthy they are. Addison a little more so.😉

At 5 1/2 months, Harper has the want to crawl so badly that I’m sure she’ll be walking soon. Addison is a happy girl just fine being a lazy babe with an attitude to match mine. Side eyes for days!!

As for myself, I’m not where I want to be but that’ll take a lot of time, patience, and work on myself to get anywhere remotely close to what I want. One day at a time.

I plan going forward to make sure I dedicate more time to updating here. Having something to keep me accountable will help continue the positive changes that I want to make for myself and them.


Well, until next time!



Is it time yet…?

Hey guys! 34 weeks in and I’m still here waiting for these twinkies to make their way into the world. I’ve been growing and gaining, tossing and turning, hoping these babies would say “hello world,” but alas they have chosen to stay in another week. At this point I’m having the worst time sleeping at night cause my belly is just not comfortable no matter how I position it, and by the time I am finally in a place comfortable enough it’s time to take Luna out for her morning routine. Woe is me right? Oh well…. lack of sleep is something I’m used to any ways. 

This week I had 2 appointments, the first to get IV iron pumped into me and then the 2nd to do our weekly scheduled NonStress test. First appointment was easy peasy, went in they hooked me up to an IV an hour later I was home! Yaaaaaas! Won’t lie though where I get my treatment is where they also give chemo to cancer patients so it’s kinda depressing being in there for iron while everyone around me is fighting for their lives. 2nd appointment well let’s just say the little lady baby A isn’t a fan of this test. Each time which we’re now at 3, she has refused to stay still for the monitor to keep a read on her. So guess what that means for me!? A lovely trip to Labor & Delivery for these little girls to be monitored there. Between the drs visit and then the hospital visit, I usually get home at least 4 hours after my appointment. Gaaahhh why is she so stubborn!? 

Speaking of stubborn! Baby A is in a breech position and Baby B is in a transverse position. Meaning that I’ll more than likely have a c section because of how they’re unwilling to move from these positions. Still don’t 100% know how I feel about the c section but I figure if I can handle gastric surgery, I can handle a c section… right? Still wish they would just teleport out though… but I’ve attached a picture from Web MD to show the baby position currently for those who may not understand what the terms meant. (That’s OK! Cause I didn’t either!)

So I FINALLY sent the adoption agency my hospital plan. Who I want there, where I want the babies to stay, where do I want to stay, etc… and now I need to work on my mommy book for the twinkies. This book is like a little scrapbook with pages for me to fill out little things about myself, photos for them, and things like that. I am no good at these kind of things which is why I’ve put it off. I can’t really procrastinate this anymore cause they’ll be here soon. Very soon. Just yesterday I was over at my best friends and I was having contractions, Braxton Hicks mind you but still contractions. I was scared shitless when she suggested going to the hospital. As much as I’m ready for these babies to vacate the premises, I’m not mentally prepared for what’s about to happen. Denial is starting to catch up to reality now. This is happening and soon. 
Well until next time,


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